everybody needs a friend
We meet them in sandboxes and cafeterias, youth groups and college dorm rooms, cubicles and church pews.
We grow them through scuffles and sustain them no matter the fight.
Some last for a season and some, a lifetime.
Some of us never had a real one.
We’ve been hurt and we’ve been carried; bruised and built up; angered and forgiven; lost then found.
We stumbled over the same blocks and then chose to keep bobbing and weaving along this road together.
Friends.
This study is an examination, a celebration, and an exhortation to us, to cultivate rich friendships as God intended. Let’s begin at the beginning.
friendship after the fall
As human beings made in the image of God—who Himself exists in Trinity as Father, Son, and Holy Spirit—we reflect him as we seek out relationships with other image-bearers. However, what was once perfectly natural has been corrupted. Sin has perverted our relationships. We hurt each other, lie to each other, and compare ourselves to one other because of the destructive nature sin brings to every relationship.
Outside of Eden, we imperfect and sinful people now must cultivate friendships from the rocky soil of a fallen world. Thankfully, we believers have an added mission—the ministry of reconciliation—and an abundant super-power, the Holy Spirit, which we have been given through our bonds of fellowship in Christ. The Spirit empowers us to overcome our flesh, love our neighbors, and make the necessary sacrifices to sustain our deep friendships. God’s love for us is all about redemption and reconciliation—what a gift that the Father would send the Son to reconcile us back to himself, and that we would be gifted with the indwelling power and presence of the Holy Spirit! God’s love for us manifests itself in his presence. God is with us, and we are never alone. We reflect his imminence and care when we lovingly cultivate true friendship.
why does friendship matter?
Before he was arrested and sentenced to be crucified, Jesus said to his disciples, “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no
one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you” (John 15:12–14). Believers are friends of Christ! It is for the sake of this friendship that Christ died. It is because of our belief in Christ that we follow his commandment to love one another.
Godly friendships declare the love of Christ. Friends remind us that we are not alone. Friendships help us along the journey of life. Friends encourage us when we are down. Friends help us when we labor. Friends wage war against the enemy alongside us—and when we’re at our weakest, they defend us.
Friends help us to keep going when the going gets rough.
Our friendships should matter deeply to us because they matter deeply to God.
Some friends like Meghan led me to be better, to be kinder and to always be myself no matter what. She had a peace about her, although she was never perfect. We journeyed spiritually together for a time, but she’s gone on ahead of me, due to ALS.
Some friends betrayed confidences and turned their backs, but I probably didn’t help the situation the way I should have.
I don’t have deep friendships cultivated, most likely due to the fact that I traveled a lot and seemed like I was never in need of friends. My best friends moved or passed on, and I struggle with letting people in emotionally.
Some have encouraged me; some hold me back; sometimes we seem obligated to be "friends" with people who don’t alinge with our thinking. This can be challenging to follow God when I’m not sure if these friends are giving God imspired advise, or are a self-centred distraction.
I’ve had some really good friends over the years but none really last. My family has been my only constant friend and even that gets strained from time to time.
The friends I’ve been close to Over the years have brought me closer to the Lord. Some I wouldn’t even know the Lord if not for them. While I wish I had a lifelong friend I could be super comfortable with, God has given me the friends I needed when I needed them.
Friendships has impacted my life by people and myself just being available for one another. It has made me draw closer to God, in the good and the bad relationships. I know God’s in the mist of it all. It keeps me on my toes. I know I must seek God to build any of my relationships. Friendships are very important to me. The real and true friendships I have, have been given to me from God. They’re great! I thank God every day for my family and special friendships. I look forward to God Blessing me with more great friends. God is Good!!!
The few “bad” friendships I’ve experienced helped me grow closer to God. When I felt it was time to leave that friendship I felt guilty. I turned to God to talk to Him about this and felt His comfort. The “good” friendships have helped me develop a deeper relationship with God. I’m thankful for this time in my life as I’m growing those friendships which is helping me grow closer to God than I ever have been.
Friendships are hard for me because i want and give so much but as soon as i feel it is one sided, i pull away quickly.
I can honesty say I’ve had many friendships, some surface level and some much deeper. At this point in my life I am greatful for every person that has come into my path good or bad because they have helped me learn to to be emotionally stable and how to learn what friendships are worth keeping allthough most are just for a season…even a very long season. As an adult I want my relationships/friendships to be more intentional. We are absolutely a product of our association and being very loyal I want people who bring light to my life even in darkness and I want to be that for them as well while learning how to do that through Christ because he should be my first and most important friendship.
I have trouble making lasting friendships. I often use the excuse that life just gets in the way. Oftentimes it is me who gets in my head about not being good enough or my life not measuring up. The comparison trap I think it is called.
We lived for thirty years in our home in Maryland. This is the longest I have ever lived any where and wher I built deep friendships. We had our babies together, grew in Christ together, homeschooled and learned so much thru joy and grief. One friend I met working at the pregnancyogether. We worked together for ten years. We learned to trust each other. She was someone I could be raw and honest with. we could laugh together as we solved the "worlds problems" and ache and pray together as we shared our family’s lives. We still keep in touch but I sure miss her.
It is through my most genuine friendships that I’ve had the opportunity to grow in my faith. My best friends are responsible for leading me to Jesus – one helped me to Baptism when I was 20, and the other has helped me to understand the Bible and it’s importance.