Proverbs 6:6 tells us to consider the ways of the ant and gain wisdom. Wisdom…from ants? We humans usually think we have wisdom on lockdown, but let’s do what the proverbs say and take a moment to observe. Have you ever been sitting at a summertime picnic, enjoying burgers and hot dogs (or a leafy green salad if you’re into that sort of thing), only to be attacked by a barrage of ants looking to pilfer your summertime treats like pirate booty and abscond with them to their tiny yet intricate ant abodes? How do these little insects do it?
Ants understand the power of community. Where there is one ant, there are plenty more ants to follow, and ants firmly believe in leaving no other ant behind. These tiny, industrious insects do everything in community—eat together, live together, work together. Ants, in all of their smallness, understand the power of community.
No, we are not ants—but we do have something in common with them. Like ants, the key to our thriving is community unified by righteous drive found in Christ. Godly friends don’t lead others into danger or a ditch. Proverbs 12:26 puts it this way, “One who is righteous is a guide to his neighbor, but the way of the wicked leads them astray.” In the same way that ants lead each other one by one to the delicious picnic morsels, godly friends walk in the same direction—toward the upward call of Jesus (Philippians 3:14). He’s the motivation. He’s the prize. Hebrews 12 describes the Christian life as a race with Jesus as the goal—and as we run, we are surrounded by a cloud of witnesses.
If words can form a pathway for our friends, godly friends pave that path with truth. In a famous scene from the film “A Few Good Men,” Jack Nicholson as Colonel Nathan R. Jessup shouts from the witness stand, “You can’t handle the truth!” Sometimes, we withhold the truth in attempts to spare our friends and loved ones, or even to save ourselves. That is not righteous honesty. We always lovingly speak the truth because how can we be righteous guides if we are dishonest? Withholding the truth creates opportunity for strife and separation. Righteous honesty is always part of loving well.
When we are Christ-centered friends, we encourage others to pursue abundant life by cheering them on to pursue Jesus, and offering truthful compassion. How privileged are we to get to walk with friends and witness the will and presence of God in their lives?
I can look back and realize I would alter my attitude and personality to match with the friends I would spend time with. Then I would go through a guilt filled confession period after the fact. As I grow in Christ, I choose to either remain true to who I am and visit with non-Christian friends, or as I’ve had to make choices, disassociate fully with those friends. Some of those choices have been tough and others help me realize how much better off I am. True friends have respected my Christ centered decision and the others just never get it. Either way I have not had the guilt filled regret of not being true to my friends or myself.
I believe those friendships are what Jesus wants us to pursue. My friends who are not Christ-centered know who I am because I don’t hide my relationship with Jesus. They have come to me in hard times and asked for prayer, asked me how I am dealing with things when they know times are tough, like now in the pandemic situation our world is facing. To find joy in each day. To know that tomorrow will come. To know that He is our strength to get us through this.
Friendships that aren’t healthy for me feel wrong, gross and uncomfortable. When you’re in those friendships you can feel sin creeping in. You realize it’s not a place you want to be. It feels very wrong to continuing the friendship. Sometimes it is very hard to leave an unhealthy friendship but it has to be done. The sin begins to consume you, your thoughts and actions. You shouldn’t feel guilty after hanging out with a friend. True friendships should fill your cup, longing for more, excited for your next meeting.
Love this Danielle!!!
When I was engaged in a friendship that was not Christ centered it felt like death. Instead of Christ being the center, manipulation, gossip, self-righteousness, unforgiveness, and shame were the center. It was definitely a relationship I had to pull myself away from. I love this person but I could no longer engage because our values had changed and gone in different directions. I had to separate and establish new boundaries over time with this person. I wish nothing but love and healing for this person but I had to disengage for the sake of my own spiritual growth.
When I spend intimate time with Jesus I feel more alive and at peace. When I spend time with Christ centered friends they too breath life into make, make me feel lighter and energized. That is because our hearts are connected to THE vine THE life source…Jesus.