There are few people we can be truly honest with in our lives. They are the ones with whom we can let down our entire guard, allow our emotions to run their course, and offer our disappointments and doubts. We cannot do it with everyone, but there are a few that are safe, a few that will receive us as we are no matter what.
Two sisters and a brother were those people for Jesus, and Jesus was that for them. Mary, Martha, and Lazarus had a deep friendship with Jesus. It was Mary who fell at Jesus’s feet and anointed his feet with her hair and oil (John 11:2; John 12:1–8). It was Martha whom we can find being completely honest with Jesus when her sister leaves her in the kitchen with all the work (Luke 10:38–42). It was Lazarus who was described as being loved by Jesus (John 11:3, 36). Jesus loved this family, and with this depth of love came the freedom to be themselves, to be honest in their disappointment, to be vulnerable with their tears, and to offer Jesus their whole selves, stopping short of nothing (John 11:5).
unmoved
Knowing Jesus well, the sisters sent Jesus a message, “Lord, the one whom you love is ill” (John 11:3). You would expect Jesus to respond with, “Okay, I’m coming right away.” But he didn’t. He said some cryptic words about his illness not leading to death and being for God’s glory (John 11:4). Then he stayed two days longer where he was. He seemed to be unfazed by the sisters’ news, and then said plainly, “He is dead” (John 11:14). He followed this with another cryptic statement: “I am glad that I was not there, so that you may believe” (John 11:15). What was Jesus up to? Did he not see their pain? Did he not feel it either?
honesty welcome
Jesus then began moving toward Bethany, the sisters’ hometown. Martha heard he was coming and went to meet him, being honest about her disappointment and her expectation of Jesus. “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died” (John 11:21).
Later in the story, Mary came to Jesus and said the exact same thing, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died” (John 11:32).
The community responded with, “Could not he who opened the eyes of the blind man also have kept this man from dying?” (John 11:37). Another fair question. And Jesus welcomed it all.
himself
Jesus eventually raised Lazarus from the dead. He had his purposes in waiting as well as his welcome of grief, confusion, and questions. Jesus did not rush to resurrection, and he met Mary, Martha, and the people with his own humanity as well. Yes, he will resurrect, but there is something in the waiting that he has for each person. He has himself. Waiting for resurrection gave Martha, Mary, and the people more of him. And that is what he gives us as well.
Death, is that thing for me. I have experienced death in my life since I was five years old and yet each new time it occurs in my life I grieve and mourn and try to understand why it has to occur. This story has helped me many times, to understand that death still happens to those whom Jesus loves and to also know that He is the resurrection and the life and one day, for those who invited Him into their lives as Lord and Savoir, they will rise again. This is the truth that I hold on to and can see through this story.
Waiting taught me how to shift my focus on God instead of my pain, disappointments, and depression. I learned to seek His FACE, and not merely his hand. Through thanksgiving, I found peace, the kind that can’t be explained. I found out how to take refuge in Jesus. He met me, and all my raw emotions and questions. And He carried me through. He healed my heart first. Then he worked a miracle in my life. I am forever changed.
Amen Sister! Thank you for administering me through your post.
I do have a story and testimony, a feeling that I died, (to myself) with no other place to go, and Jesus came to my rescue, pulled me out of a Pit. When I finally began to learn, “it’s not about me” I began to surrender. As I surrendered I began to walk in obedience. Jesus was with me every step of the way, through the good, bad and the ugly. Now 15 years later, I stand on the solid rock that is Christ Jesus and live free, free from the anger, bitterness, depression and disappointments. He is my refuge, my portion in the land of the living.
I am learning to trust HIM deeper each day. As I trust more…my heart changes then my actions change as well. I am so thankful for this metanoia….I see that I am more patient and see others/life through a different set of lenses. I am not claiming perfection….just saved by HIS grace. I am a work in progress til I meet my maker. I have become more concerned with doing what pleases my Lord. As a first born…I always worried about pleasing others therefore causing anxiety…ugh that hamster wheel.
I used to be more like Martha…which she isn’t all bad…she gets stuff done….but it’s about our heart posture. God knows my heart better than I do. Why did it take me soooo long to figure this out? Everyone’s journey to the cross looks different with shortcuts and mistakes. Sometimes I think we complicate faith….it’s all about fixing our eyes on HIM.
I am not sure if I answered a question…just shared my thoughts.
Possibly, I haven’t fully surrendered to telling my story just yet. I find it hard to put it clearly into words. But I feel it might be beneficial to others. As someone I know is dealing with the same issue. So this week I hope that God gives me the courage to open myself up.
I get sad and frustrated that God won’t heal my MIL of her addictions, and it breaks my heart to see my husband come to the realization that, with the birth of our child this week, his mother won’t be able to be a part of our new family the way he always hoped she would. But the longer she wrestles with these demons, the more miraculous it will be when God brings her to recovery. So, today, tomorrow, and forever, I believe.
Today, this story gives me so much hope. My father is currently battling a grade 4 brain tumor, after already winning the battle of a grade 3 brain tumor 3 years ago. But this time, each doctors visit the news gets worse and worse. The treatment is not working, the tumor is growing.. My hope is hanging by a thread and God seems rather quiet right now. I don’t forget the work and healing He did 3 years ago, but I sometimes feel myself like Martha getting mad asking Where are you now? I know you have the power to fix this, why don’t you?
After having a miscarriage 2 years ago, I was devastated and didn’t understand why God would allow something so horrible to happen. It was a very hard season in my life where I wondered if we were even meant to have another child. I learned to lean into God and worship him through the tears. Trusting that if we did get pregnant again, God would be with us every step of the way. Looking back on that season of life I see how much I grew and know God used it for deepening my faith and trust in Him. Giving birth to a healthy baby boy after the miscarriage felt like such a miracle, I viewed the whole experience so much differently than my first pregnancy.
During this time of Social distancing and businesses being shut down for months, I was In the beginning questioning why God would let this happen. I have been leaning into the unknown and trusting that God will provide and we will come out stronger with a deeper faith and trust than ever before. I have been filled with a peace that I cannot even explain. I know that we will be taken care of. I know that God is in control. It’s a time in my life similar to two years ago where I learned that I am strong and resilient and God will never leave us.
I think one of my greatest disappointments was losing my estranged husband before our reconciliation was complete. The news of his death v came from a mistress who claimed to be the mother of his child. Then she proceeded to impersonate me to prevent me and his family from getting the mortuary for burial. I closed my heart off and told God I never wanted another romantic relationship in my life.
God is good. He has been faithful to me and my daughters. He’s faithful to ensuring that I’m healed and whole. From that I’ve learned it’s okay to Express my disappointment to God. It’s okay to say but Lord I prayed and you said you’d answer my prayers. God didn’t leave or forsake me. He’s been right there the whole time.
As a Missionary’s daughter we moved not just cities or states, but countries and continents on average every 4-5 years! On the upside we had a variety of acquaintances from all walks of life! On the downside we were never in a place long enough to develop deep long-lasting friendships! People think I’m joking when I say that I “collect and trade people like baseball cards!”
I have longed my whole life for the kind of long lasting and deep friendship Jesus had with Lazarus and sisters!
Hi Margaret,
I know that God will work everything together for the good of those who love Him. His Word tells us that. I pray that as you grow your friendship with Jesus through going deeper into His Word, if it is His will for you, that you will encounter that one or those two people to develop a deep friendship with as you keep walking in obedience. Also maybe you will reconnect with someone you met along the way in your past journeys!
– Kate