chevron-leftchevron-right-+closefacebook-bwinstagram-bwmenuNew Tabtwitter-bwyoutube-bw
facebook-bw twitter-bw instagram-bw youtube-bw menu close - +

Are You Afraid You Can Never Change?

If you love me, keep my commands. And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another advocate to help you and be with you forever.

John 14:15–16
Are You Afraid You Can Never Change? Book Cover

“I can’t do that.”

“It will never work.”

“I’ve tried before.”

“I’m afraid to try.”

Have you ever found yourself saying one of these things when it comes to change? Whether you’re attempting something new, trying to change the way you think, or starting a different routine, you come up with a million reasons why it won’t work for you before you’ve even started. Why do we do that to ourselves?

If we do that in the little things, how much more do we have this mindset with the big things? Growing to be more like Jesus sounds like a big, audacious goal that we have to achieve on our own. What makes it even harder is that the enemy would love for you to believe that it’s not even possible. So what do we do when we want to figure out what’s true? Head to the Bible.

In John 16, Jesus tells his disciples that when he leaves the earth, there’s a way he will stay connected with them. There’s a way they will still have help: the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit is the third person in the Trinity: God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit. Jesus refers to the Holy Spirit as the Helper: “If you love me, you will keep my commandments. And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Helper, to be with you forever” (John 14:15–16).

This is good news! We cannot grow to be like Jesus without the work of the Holy Spirit in our lives. We have help. The biggest mistake we can make with sanctification is thinking it’s a self-help initiative. It’s a Holy Spirit initiative.

“Holy Spirit, help me to love those around me with grace and compassion.”

“Help me to make this decision.”

“Help me to trust you with this day.”

It’s easy to believe change in our lives isn’t possible if the change is only up to us. Praise God that’s never what he has in mind as he molds us to be more like him. How much more do we stick to something we say we’re going to do when we have someone holding us accountable? The Holy Spirit is our guide, our teacher, our helper. God’s Spirit is inside of us, showing us how to live a godly life. He literally is the change agent—the one doing the work. The only way we look any different. The reason we can look like Jesus at all.

You’re not alone.


Leader Guide


Learn More

About IF:Equip

Go Back

The Power to Change

Watch Week One

Is Change Really Possible?

Daily Question

Have you noticed the Holy Spirit at work in your life before? If so, how? If not, what can you do this week to begin to notice him?

Your email address will not be published.

Comments (16)

Absolutely! So many ways! Too many to list. He took over my mind, body and spirit. He gave me a joy unspeakable and a craving for the Bible and service. And Worship was UNBELIEVABLE!!! His presence was so strong during worship and prayer I could barely contain it.

There has been many occasions, in the past few years, when I felt the Holy Spirit nudging me to teach bible lessons. First of all, I am not a speaker. Second, I don’t know exactly where all the scriptures are, I have to google it when I am looking for a particular verse. Third, I’m scared I’ll mess up. Despite all my excuses and fears, I still feel the nudge and I’m tired of fighting Him.

I went on a women’s retreat a year ago in the Smokey Mountains and got about a full week with the Holy Spirit. No phones and no outside world. One day, we went out to the wilderness in solitude and fasted. A lot of healing of past hurts and replacing lies I believed with truth was had that day and that week. I desire to go back to the wilderness in solitude with my Father. Just being outside alone helps me connect with the Holy Spirit.

I feel convicted by The Spirit multiple times a day. I am so thankful for that conviction, because I know without The Holy Spirit I wouldn’t be uncomfortable in my sin. I just get frustrated that despite that conviction I still continue to sin! Once again comes down to trusting in God’s timing and that His work is not finished. I can spend more time in the word and also give myself time to quiet down from all the constant noise of the world.

The Holy Spirit has pushed me to move outside of my comfort zone in conversations with people, and every time I follow, I never regret it.

The Spirit inside me is very sensitive. However, sometimes I miss his voice initially and hear from him much louder after I’ve made a mistake. But that gives me the opportunity to confess and accept Gods grace knowing he doesn’t expect me to be perfect and it allows me to have a do over.

Grateful for many many times. A few examples…comfort in times of horrible grief. A nudge to a specific Bible passage. A ‘gut’ feeling to do something or not to! I have been given words to say to a new friend, about Christ, when I didn’t know what to say. I have been given guilt over something I shouldn’t have done. And the most clear, was a saving from taking my life when I was a teenager- 35 years ago.

I have sensed the peace that He brings. In situations where I shouldn’t have felt peace, He has enveloped me in His peace. Lord, help me be sensitive to your Spirit as it leads, guides, & refines me.

There have been so many times that I have been convicted by the Holy Spirit or as I like to call it "hit in the back of the head by a 2×4 plank". I need to remember that to be able to listen to His call that I have to be listening and attentive and open.

Yes, whenever I pause in a difficult, painful or challenging situation and quietly ask God for help, breathe and wait He comes in the form of a whisper, an inspiration and change in perspective, to help me push through that situation. All I have to do is ask, think about Jesus and wait. If difficult people confront me I pray for His help, and He resolves it or gives me the words to say. I just have to remember Him. But sometimes he steps in without my requests, if I am overwhelmed. He is so good!

Have questions?

We've got answers.

View Our FAQs

Thank you to our study partner