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Are You Stuck?

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.

Romans 12:2
Are You Stuck? Book Cover

How many times have you found yourself mentally spiraling because you thought, “I said I was going to change ________ today and I didn’t”? Maybe it was something as simple as giving up sweets that day, but you found yourself breaking that fast. Or maybe it was something bigger, like battling deep-rooted jealousy. Maybe after getting a handle on it, you found yourself backtracking and back to where you started. You felt stuck.

These patterns can make all of us feel like we’re never actually able to change and grow. We’re broken humans, but our hope is that we’ve been rescued by a God who wants us to keep walking toward him no matter how many times we have to turn around and start over. The Bible never says, “Believe in God and you will act perfectly.” However, it does say, “Believe . . . and you will be saved” (Romans 10:9). We can’t change on our own, but we can with the help of our savior. There are two parts to this transformation: 1) If you believe in Jesus, then he has already saved you and therefore you are a new creation (2 Corinthians 5:17). This is justification. 2) The Holy Spirit continues to transform you into the image of Christ. This is sanctification.

you have a choice

Romans 12:2 says: “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.”

Transformation is possible. Jennie Allen reminds us in her book, Get Out of Your Head, that “the greatest spiritual battle of our generation is being fought between our ears.” We actually have control over our thoughts, so instead of spiraling every time we think, I’m never going to get this right, we ask the Holy Spirit to renew our minds, to help us start again, and to restore our broken pieces.

We can choose to stay in a frustrated, shame-filled place of believing our lives can never look like the one Jesus lived, or we can choose to daily surrender our emotions and set our minds on the things of God instead of the things of this world (Colossians 3:2). We are allowed to fail. In fact, we’re going to. We grow, however, when we learn to repent and ask God to give us the strength to follow his will and way over our own. He will, because that’s who he is: a God slow to anger and full of compassion.



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Comments (15)

My health: The majority of my life I have sat somewhere around 135 lbs. This was my natural weight before I knew what a calorie or macro was. Now I am at 210 and in less than a year will be 50 yrs old. I feel stuck in this weight. Not myself, not able to do things I enjoy, hiding sometimes because of how I look. I believe God has called me to lead and I have led in the past, but now I shrink back for fear of being judged because of what I weigh.
My Job: I also feel stuck in my job. Stuck to the financial security it provides. I have been at my job for 24 years. I no longer have a passion for what I do because I no longer care about making a name for myself or climbing any corporate ladders. My heart and passion is for women coming out of domestic violence and sexual assault. I want them to know there is hope and healing in Jesus. So I feel stuck in a paycheck, when I want to be running toward my passion. Truth is I know I can do both, if I can get my health in check and feel stronger, better.

I relate to this on such a deep level! There is so much of my purpose I know is being hidden or skipped over because of my weight issues. I understand this with my whole heart.

I keep thinking that because I have not landed a job since I left my old one a year ago, that there’s something wrong with me. It’s not that I am unskilled, in fact I have tons of experience and wide range of skills. I get stuck in trying to figure out what I should I do about it, then feeling unworthy, depressed, on and on.

This spiral started up again yesterday when I made small talk with someone about finding work. I later recognized that I can change the way these conversations lead me down that dark tunnel by changing the way I talk about it. I am doing work, "side work" for cash that God puts in my path and I am supposed to be glorifying His name with my attitude. With the nudging and reminding of the Holy Spirit, I can change the narrative and be on an upward spiral instead.

I feel like I’ve been spinning my wheels and not going anywhere. To nail it down to a pattern. It would be a pattern of not focusing my day around Him. Starting my a day with God, asking him to guide me, writing down what it is I think He wants me to do asking him to bless it or change it for His glory and coming back to focus on that list a couple of times during the day..God am I changing…am I renewing my mind or letting the noise of the world distract me. Who am I supposed to reach out to today? Check in with Him before the day is done…listen to His leading…do that thing, pray for someone, call them. Before bed check in again…reflect…God did I honor you today? Did I make the most of my time…renew my trust You on my transformation journey to focus more on You tomorrow and be attentive to hear your leading.

A pattern in my life that makes me feel stuck, I get frustrated that I am not making connections with women or it seems to be that the ones I do make seem shallow or disappoint, so my thought is that I am not enough. My mind leads me towards being nit just disappointment but, feeling jealous of women with deep connections and sorry for myself sometimes with bitter attitude.

I feel this! I often get stuck in jealousy. I also struggle with pride and comparison, and when I notice any of these things in myself, it’s easy for me to spiral into self-pity because I resent myself for not attaining that ever far off goal of “having it together.”

Stuck – in a job I enjoy and have passion for but a boss and staff who don’t respect me (actually turn their heads when they don’t want to listen to me).

I always say I’m going to dig into God’s word and have that quiet time with God, but often I fail to put God first.

I am a stay at home wife and often I feel like I have no purpose or direction. Just these last few days, making sure I spend time reminds me that God has a purpose for me and by continuing to spend time with him will lead me in the right direction.

Love this thank you Jessica! It’s encouraging to be reminded God does have a plan. (Even when we feel lost sometimes.) 💗

Jealousy towards a specific friend who has lost a lot of weight, goes on trips through her scentsy business and has never had a hard time getting pregnant! She just has it all together and it makes me not even want to be friends with her!! I feel like my pattern of also constantly thinking about what I’m eating and my weight keeps me stuck as well!

Hi Anonymous,
On the topic of constantly thinking about what you are eating – have you ever heard of Intuitive Eating? There is a book and a multitude of other resources out there for it. I highly recommend the book by Evelyne Tribole and Elyse Resch – they teach you how to heal your relationship with food and give tips on how to make it more enjoyable and less of a chore.

Worry and fear! I know God didn’t create fear, and that perfect Love casts out fear. That God is my shelter in the storm, and my anchor. I need to go to him with my fears. Dig into his word.

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