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Intentional Conversation

And when Naomi saw that she was determined to go with her, she said no more.

Ruth 1:18
Intentional Conversation Book Cover

how to speak

Have you ever been engaged in a deep conversation with a friend when things suddenly took a turn for the worse? Your friend, steeped in her frustration, started to lash out at you in such a sharp way that your heart sped up, your breathing became labored, and your brain couldn’t process quickly enough? It may have felt as if the other person didn’t have the capacity to hear you; her hurt created a barrier. In those moments, how did you respond? Did you leap to defend yourself? Did you sit in stunned silence?

Some of us have had friendship experiences where loving well and speaking truth felt like being tasked with gingerly, patiently replanting after watching someone rip up deep-rooted crops. As friends, we dread entering conversations like these—but they can bear good fruit.

One intentional conversation can redirect and revitalize a friendship. Intentional communication is necessary for unity and growth. Intentionality requires dedicated time, vulnerability, honesty, listening, and leading with love and care for the person. Without these elements, conversations can still occur, but they won’t intentional.

the power of intentional conversation

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Daily Question

Has there ever been an intentional conversation with a friend or loved one that has significantly impacted on your life?

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Comments (2)

Definitely most prominent was about a year and a half ago when a close friend’s sister passed away suddenly. She was broken and in despair. She is usually so upbeat and takes what life throws and gives it up to God. This time was different. So we started meeting once a month in person as she lived too far to meet more than that. We would meet for a meal or coffee. We would share about life and she would let some of her grief surface and be vulnerable with me. We cried together and laughed together. We both needed those times. It’s been a while since we met up, largely in part due to COVID. She is grieving in a different way now, as she is a hugger and could not do that for a long time. So I am anxious to see her again this weekend. Neither of us are big into conversation texting or talking for a long time on the phone. We need in person visits. We are going for a walk this weekend and I am so excited to see her. I pray for her and her family has been through SO much the past decade. They are a second family for me, and I need to hold onto that even though I have my own young growing family. Can’t wait to be more intentional.

I am sitting here trying to think of a time this question asks about, but I am having a lot of difficulty coming up with the answer. I am not sure that intentional conversation has been a big part of my relationships; maybe I am scared of controversy?

I do remember speaking of some seriously important stuff with a college friend, and it didn’t exactly have the outcome I had planned. I was able to finally tell her how bad her words and actions with hurting me and she didn’t really respond they way I would have liked. I guess she didn’t really care about me with way I thought. Our relationship had become toxic and I tried many ways to resolve it, but she kept hurting me over and over again. In the end our relationship ended due to jealousy and I lost both her and her sister. I do miss them, but I don’t miss the bad times that started getting more frequent than the good.

This has changed me because I am take it very serious when a person starts to become controlling of me, my life, and my time. Also, when I notice a friend doesn’t seem happy for me and more jealous of me and my life, I know that we have a toxic thing brewing and that I need to do something about it before it consumes me and us.

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