We have all been there. Standing in the mirror, looking at ourselves, and asking ourselves the same question: “Why did I do that?”
Some of us may take the time to investigate our motives. But even after getting at the heart of the problem, we still find ourselves back at the mirror. We never know our motives, and that just makes the mirror a frustrating place to be. Still, we all can agree that every time we come back to the mirror we can see the damage of our decisions in our eyes. Jaded. Suspicious. Hurt. Mistrusting. Dying. And that is what sin is. Sin is the inescapable, unavoidable death we see in the mirror. Sin is the reality that I can keep coming back to the mirror all I want, but I can never change what it shows me.
We have an ugly habit of thinking the best of ourselves; and quite frankly, that habit is the basis for the worst of our problems. In the beginning, humankind was without sin. But the desire to think the best of ourselves ushered sin into the world. When Satan tempted Eve in the garden to eat the fruit of the tree of knowledge of good and evil, he tempted her by convincing her that God was holding back the best. Satan said, “God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil” (Genesis 3:5). The ugliness that followed was death. And not just death for Eve and her husband Adam but all those who came after them.
We all have sinned, still sin, and will continue to sin. And sin enslaves. We know it enslave because it is sin that keeps driving us back to the mirror to ask ourselves the same question, “Why did I do that?” In John 8:34, Jesus says it like this, “Truly, truly, I say to you everyone who practices sin is a slave to sin.” As humans we are finite in both will and ability. Essentially, we have absolutely no ability to free ourselves from the slavery sin causes; nor do we have the full capacity to desire to be free from sin. Paul says, “I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out” (Romans 7:18).
The very real reality is that even though we are incapable of stopping ourselves from sin, there is a part of us that wants to sin.
But there is good news. Jesus has come!
When I fall into sin it is as if my whole personality changes. I no longer am joyful, I am incapable of loving others the way I should because I can’t even be happy with myself. I easily fall into depression and get this awful sense of worthlessness when I am living in sin, but I’ve learned now that just because you mess up doesn’t mean you have to sit in your darkness but the Bible says there is a God who is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. When I do mess up and fall back into sin I no longer have to beat myself over the head. I can approach the throne of grace and know that my God will forgive me and I get another chance to be better.
I’ve broken trust in the relationships of my closest family and friends through sin and deceit, and it stays with me in my everyday life. There’s an aspect of growth from making those mistakes, and never wanting to hurt those people or feel the way that I did ever again. But at the same time, the shame I feel at hurting those people, wondering if they still think about it, never fully forgiving myself eats at me during my low points. It’s a slow process, but the Gospel is the key to truly forgiving myself, and moving forward in my walk.
I most often see it interfere with my relationship with the people I love most in my life. For example, I love my mom and am so lucky to have her as my mother, however, I treat her with disdain and utter rudeness. I always come back to the mirror and ask myself WHY?? I want to be a good kid, and I want to treat her with the love and respect she deserves, but I always end up back at the mirror rebuking my actions. If only she knows how bad I felt after I wronged her, I always feel my heartache as I close the door and ponder about how she must feel. And no matter how good I am to her, for however long, I still will end up at the mirror, hating myself for what I said.
at least you are recognizing it…. you can apologize and share with your mom how you are learning through this. I’m sure she would be happy to know that God is working and moving you to see your behaviors/responses and change is on it’s way with Jesus as your focus!
it’s like taking the long way around, a detour through a rougher patch 🙁 My sin has caused a lot of pain to others. Sin doesn’t just hurt me but effects others and I need to keep that in mind when I am living for today (sinning) and realize there will be a consequence to sin.
Greatly. I wish I could just stop talking sometimes.. like a button you can switch when you say things you don’t mean.. I feel sad and ashamed but, mostly I feel like a failure and that I’m not a good Christian.. And I think it makes people turn away from Jesus (who are considering) because I said the wrong things.
When I sin, even now as a Christian, I have the tendency to become angry with myself and those around me. Only the good news of Jesus, that he loved me and died for me even when I was his enemy, that he has risen again and gifted me with life and forgiveness: fully, freely and forever and there’s nothing I can do to lose it..only that can change my anger to joy, replace my self-loathing with hope and turn my eyes from things that bring death to gaze upon the beauty of Life itself.
Complaining breeding complaining, judging others, impatient with others.
Sin is anything that takes me away from Christ and his love and focus. That can be work, money, opportunity for power/advancement, fine clothes or nice vehicles, vacations… so much can distract us from the true value in our life: Christ Jesus
I have seen so many relationships destroyed in selfishness of sin. I grew up without a mom for many years from her selfishness choosing drugs instead of us because of sin. My father was physically abusive in his selfishness and choose alcohol instead of us because of sin. Which lead to me to hurting everyone around me by using my body to get whatever I wanted. Sin tries to conquer and destroy, and the damaging part is we do not want to completely stop sinning.
My sin set me going in a different direction than I believe the Lord had planned for me. This not only effected my life but the lives of my husbands and children. I was more broken than I could express and was running away from the only person that could save me, Christ.564