everybody needs a friend
We meet them in sandboxes and cafeterias, youth groups and college dorm rooms, cubicles and church pews.
We grow them through scuffles and sustain them no matter the fight.
Some last for a season and some, a lifetime.
Some of us never had a real one.
We’ve been hurt and we’ve been carried; bruised and built up; angered and forgiven; lost then found.
We stumbled over the same blocks and then chose to keep bobbing and weaving along this road together.
Friends.
This study is an examination, a celebration, and an exhortation to us, to cultivate rich friendships as God intended. Let’s begin at the beginning.
friendship after the fall
As human beings made in the image of God—who Himself exists in Trinity as Father, Son, and Holy Spirit—we reflect him as we seek out relationships with other image-bearers. However, what was once perfectly natural has been corrupted. Sin has perverted our relationships. We hurt each other, lie to each other, and compare ourselves to one other because of the destructive nature sin brings to every relationship.
Outside of Eden, we imperfect and sinful people now must cultivate friendships from the rocky soil of a fallen world. Thankfully, we believers have an added mission—the ministry of reconciliation—and an abundant super-power, the Holy Spirit, which we have been given through our bonds of fellowship in Christ. The Spirit empowers us to overcome our flesh, love our neighbors, and make the necessary sacrifices to sustain our deep friendships. God’s love for us is all about redemption and reconciliation—what a gift that the Father would send the Son to reconcile us back to himself, and that we would be gifted with the indwelling power and presence of the Holy Spirit! God’s love for us manifests itself in his presence. God is with us, and we are never alone. We reflect his imminence and care when we lovingly cultivate true friendship.
why does friendship matter?
Before he was arrested and sentenced to be crucified, Jesus said to his disciples, “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no
one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you” (John 15:12–14). Believers are friends of Christ! It is for the sake of this friendship that Christ died. It is because of our belief in Christ that we follow his commandment to love one another.
Godly friendships declare the love of Christ. Friends remind us that we are not alone. Friendships help us along the journey of life. Friends encourage us when we are down. Friends help us when we labor. Friends wage war against the enemy alongside us—and when we’re at our weakest, they defend us.
Friends help us to keep going when the going gets rough.
Our friendships should matter deeply to us because they matter deeply to God.
Friendships are a blessing to me. My friends I feel supported, heard, together, laughter, life in community. We learn from ea h other , inspired and have fun,
My Godly friendships grew in intimacy far faster than other friendships. What happened in months or even days would have taken years to cultivate in other relationships. Trust is immediately present allowing each other to be candid. I am a very relational person and adore my friends and the living support and community built with them. I require honesty in a friendship even if the truth hurts. When I was younger I based value on how many friends I had but then realized that they weren’t always truthful and then I would get hurt. I am quite guarded when I first meet someone until trust us sstablished
Support when needed.
Letting go when someone cuts you out with no explanation
Ive learned that people leave. I want to be a friend who stays closer than a brother. I want to be faithful like God.
Friendships have carried me at times in my life and yet other friendships have almost drowned me. Discovering who I am in Christ and than finding covenant friendship helped to break down the walls of trust and fear to the amazing transparency of true loving agape sisterhood. I know now that God divinely uses friendship to walk alongside of us as we grow in Him doing life with one another.
If we look at overall relationships for me, I’d say that they have truly led me to a point of really desiring a deep relationship with HIM. Leaning on my own thoughts or understanding has led me to moments of damaging others because what I interpreted was not the truth and vice versa. So having a deeper relationship with Him, shows me what my relationships should be like with others, as a mom, daughter, friend, sister, wife….
It has allowed me to accept things I cannot change but to stay consistent in my walk with him. Friends have come and gone but some still remain. There are a few friends that need spirit strengthening and I continue to pray for them.
Friendships have taught me to love, to trust, to be transparent when burdened. It has taught me to care, to laugh, to not always be serious. Friendships have taught me I am the same and that I am totally different. Friendships have taught me I can still get hurt but that I can be healed through the same love, trust and transparency.
Friendship has taught me what unconditional Love looks like. Knowing I can be 100% transparent and ultimately be vulnerable about myself, my shortcomings, my failures, my insecurities and the list goes on. I know they will be brutally honest with me even when it hurts because they truly love me!
They have made me want to seek Him more. The good friendships remind me of his love and mercy and grace, and the bad ones have reminded me that He is in control and how I need to let some things go and practice forgiveness every single day. I wouldn’t know how to be a good friend if I didn’t seek out Christ and his examples.
Most of them, prior to having Marisa, did not share Christ. I wasn’t a believer & neither was any of my friends. Almost all of those friendships are gone due to death, losing their sobriety, moving or just growing apart. Some of them were truly amazing! The best one was with Christine, who was my maid of honor & me hers. We’d grown apart for 10 years but rekindled & found out we’d both excepted Christ around the same time. I was reunited with her just in time to help her walk thru breast cancer, which she ended up dying from 5 years later.
What a blessing that you could be there for Christine. Isn’t God’s timing just incredible. As a believer I often wonder why I am amazed At His provisions. Thank you for sharing.